Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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