hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
