it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
