Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
