We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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