Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
