I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I think my moral compass just broke
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
