don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
