I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
