did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
