Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
