My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
