in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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