talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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