I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
