fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
