im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
