My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
