Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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