Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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