we're blogging at a bar
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
