So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
