I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
