Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
