Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
