Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
whose parrot is this?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
