my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
