I think I died a long time ago.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
