i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
