I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
