fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
