ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
