Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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