I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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