What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
