It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
