If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
