She's like a pop up book from hell.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
