So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
