I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
