his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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