If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
