lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
