Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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