don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
