Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
