Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
