I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
