I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
