she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
