I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
